What's Your Dream?

At this point in time, other than injury (knock on wood) the only thing that will keep me from finishing Mountain Lakes 100 is not having the correct gear. So I thought I would share why I am concerned and that all I am still needing. I am sure this list won't be complete either.  (UPDATED as of 8/8/17 6:22 PM PDT) Ultimate Direction Adventure Vesta 9L Hydration Vest - Women's Obsidian, M/L Black Diamond Distance Z Z-Poles, Carbon, 110cm - Borrowing!   SaltStick Caps, Electrolyte Replacement Capsules, 100 count bottle  - Gifted!!! Tailwind Nutrition - 7 Stickpack Set by Tailwind Nutrition Huma Chia Energy Gel, Variety Pack, 24 Gels - Premier Sports Nutrition for Endurance Exercise Shock Absorber Women's Active D+ Classc Support Sports Bra, White, 34E UK  - Gifted!!! Altra Trail Gaiter Protective Shoe Covers, Orchid, S Regular US - Borrowing!  Petzl - NAO 575 Lumens - Borrowing! A running puffy jacket  Second pair of Altra shoes   - ...

My last post was pretty negative but I felt like I needed to get out those feels. I feel like I have kind of fallen into this trap of "Katie is always happy even if she fails at her running goals", in general, I would say yes. That I am pretty happy, just looking at those fails as something that will make me stronger. This last 50 mile attempt was something I really had my heart set on, felt more ready for than any race to date. So when I wasn't able to complete it, yet another incomplete race in a whole year of hiccups, it hit really hard. I just needed to be angry for a day or two and for some reason I felt like I needed to share that. Which, in some ways I am glad that I did.

I am going to come out and say it. I am pissed off! I have been on the struggle train for over a year now. Sense I hurt my ankle last August. I am sick and tired of constantly failing! Sprained ankle made me miss Ragnar Cascades (2016) Car accident made me miss pacing the Seattle Marathon and Deception Pass 50k (2016) Working way too much at Amazon made me miss Gorge Waterfall 50k (2017) 4 day stomach flu made me DNF at Sun Mountain 50k (2017) 3 day Migraine made me drop from pacing the Seattle Rock N Roll Marathon (2017) Now this, smoky conditions made me unable to breathe and had to DNF at White River 50. (2017) Every time something bad has happened or something has gone wrong I just keep saying "it's good training" for my 100 miler. But, you know what? I am mad and tired at failing at something I really love. Between not having enough $$ to buy the gear that I need for my 100 miler (I need lots of stuff, from a new pack and trekking poles to new shoes and ni...