What's Your Dream?

I try my best to live a healthy lifestyle but life sometimes puts a bit more stress on me than it should and I break down every once in a while for a few months at a time. Whether it is because of recovery time from an injury or something else, I just get down on myself and I stop working out. I put on a few pounds here and there but it usually isn't that much. This year was different, even though I try to keep my head held up sometimes it loose sight of that healthy lifestyle and I binge eat junk food, this year, I binge ate for a few months! I just tried to eat my problems away. Which is never the answer but talking it out with my friends, and working hard to get some of the harder life things taken care of, I have been able to get the binge eating under control for now. It is something I have always struggled with, and I am sure I will continue to. If you would like to learn more about Binge Eating, click HERE .  What is Binge Eating Disorder?  Binge eating disorder is cha...

So, here I am once again in Missouri. The place I never thought I would live again. Have to give life that, it is so unexpected and you just can't control it. I have had a very rocky 2017. So much has happened this year in a negative way that it is almost unbelievable. I left Amazon because they wanted me to work more, I was already pulling 60-70 hour weeks (in office, not including work I did from home). Then I moved on to Intentional Futures and the job was ok but it wasn't challenging enough for me and it was just not quite the right fit, so I left them. I have been unemployed now for three months. I have applied to hundreds of jobs and so far, nothing. It isn't from the lack of interviews. I have interviewed at least two dozen companies, mostly phone screens, but I am still in the rut. Hopefully the right role will come along soon. As far as my running goes, I have talked about my IT band injury from July. I received a steroid shot in my knee which I had several r...

Do not go gentle into that good night Dylan Thomas , 1914 - 1953 Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night. Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night. Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. ___________________________...

At this point in time, other than injury (knock on wood) the only thing that will keep me from finishing Mountain Lakes 100 is not having the correct gear. So I thought I would share why I am concerned and that all I am still needing. I am sure this list won't be complete either.  (UPDATED as of 8/8/17 6:22 PM PDT) Ultimate Direction Adventure Vesta 9L Hydration Vest - Women's Obsidian, M/L Black Diamond Distance Z Z-Poles, Carbon, 110cm - Borrowing!   SaltStick Caps, Electrolyte Replacement Capsules, 100 count bottle  - Gifted!!! Tailwind Nutrition - 7 Stickpack Set by Tailwind Nutrition Huma Chia Energy Gel, Variety Pack, 24 Gels - Premier Sports Nutrition for Endurance Exercise Shock Absorber Women's Active D+ Classc Support Sports Bra, White, 34E UK  - Gifted!!! Altra Trail Gaiter Protective Shoe Covers, Orchid, S Regular US - Borrowing!  Petzl - NAO 575 Lumens - Borrowing! A running puffy jacket  Second pair of Altra shoes   - ...

My last post was pretty negative but I felt like I needed to get out those feels. I feel like I have kind of fallen into this trap of "Katie is always happy even if she fails at her running goals", in general, I would say yes. That I am pretty happy, just looking at those fails as something that will make me stronger. This last 50 mile attempt was something I really had my heart set on, felt more ready for than any race to date. So when I wasn't able to complete it, yet another incomplete race in a whole year of hiccups, it hit really hard. I just needed to be angry for a day or two and for some reason I felt like I needed to share that. Which, in some ways I am glad that I did.

I am going to come out and say it. I am pissed off! I have been on the struggle train for over a year now. Sense I hurt my ankle last August. I am sick and tired of constantly failing! Sprained ankle made me miss Ragnar Cascades (2016) Car accident made me miss pacing the Seattle Marathon and Deception Pass 50k (2016) Working way too much at Amazon made me miss Gorge Waterfall 50k (2017) 4 day stomach flu made me DNF at Sun Mountain 50k (2017) 3 day Migraine made me drop from pacing the Seattle Rock N Roll Marathon (2017) Now this, smoky conditions made me unable to breathe and had to DNF at White River 50. (2017) Every time something bad has happened or something has gone wrong I just keep saying "it's good training" for my 100 miler. But, you know what? I am mad and tired at failing at something I really love. Between not having enough $$ to buy the gear that I need for my 100 miler (I need lots of stuff, from a new pack and trekking poles to new shoes and ni...